The Journal of Frodo Baggins
by Frodo Silverlune
Summary: Bilbo asked Frodo if he wouldn't be able to keep an account of his journey. Well, he was able to, and here it is. Part of it, at least.


The Journal of Frodo Baggins  
  
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Lord of the Rings, or Frodo.  
  
Note: Sorry, only one chapter. If I should add more, or write other journals, tell me.  
  
The Journal of Frodo Baggins, Written by Himself, and being the Account of his Journey to Mordor, Starting from the Elf-Woods of Lothlorien And Ending. .when I die.in the Event of Which, My Faithful Servant and Best of Friends Samwise Gamgee To continue Writing, for my Dear Uncle Bilbo Baggins. Having said this...here I go.  
  
Day 1:  
  
We set out form Lothlorien today. I must admit I was sorely disappointed to see the glimmering figure of Lady Galadriel disappear around the bend in the river. Oh well. She gave me as a parting present a very dull glass. I think it's supposed to light up, 'when all other lights go out.' Hmmmm. It still hasn't lit up yet. Maybe if I snap and shake.  
We're in boats on the River. I have been assigned to sit with Aragorn and Sam. Lucky Sam. HE got a treasure chest from Galadriel. A lot of good that'll do HIM, on the river. If our boat tips over, sunken treasure!! (and dead Sam.*shudder*)  
  
Day 2:  
  
I think we're supposed to be out-running some orcs. I don't see how we are supposed to out RUN them, when we're in boats, but Aragorn's the leader, and what the pig says, goes. (Did I say that?)  
  
Day 3:  
  
I am very bored. There is absolutely NOTHING to do. I've watched the scenery too much, I've decided. I'm starting to see talking trees, and a rushing white cavalry in the water again. That is he scariest part, because the water if completely calm, save for an occasional ripple caused by our boat's smooth prow cutting through the mirror-like surface. And I've only seen two fish so far. You would think there would be more fish in a river. AND I saw a log with eyes. It must be the Ring.  
Like I said, I'm VERY bored. I've sung 99-bottles-of-beer-on-the- wall, until Sam insisted we sing 99-bottles-of-ale-on-the-wall, and we got all the way to 34, when Aragorn threatened us with "If I was King." He spoils all the fun. Men have no sense of humor. If I was rowing, and HE was the one doomed to sit and stare all day, he would see things a little differently.  
You know what, if I can't sleep tonight I think I'll start counting fish. (Now I'm talking to my journal; this is bad. I need a vacation.)  
  
Day 4:  
  
It finally happened!! Sam and I were singing 'I've Got a lovely Bunch of Coconuts' and Aragorn hit us with an oar. Sam became very upset and tipped over the boat. Lucky for him, Legolas played the hero and rescued him, but it would have been better if he had drowned, for the tongue-lashing he received afterwards from Aragorn. I wish I could remember it all, but I think it went something like this: Aragorn: "Confounded Samwise, what do you think you were doing?" Sam: "You hit Mister Frodo! And you don't let us have any fun! If YOU were sitting all day instead of rowing, YOU would be bored too!!" A: "But you made us loose two whole packets of lembas! Do you know how long that would have lasted us?" S: "It's only lembas, Aragorn. Unless. there was something else you lost." A: "Yes, er, there was." S: "Well, what was it?" A: "It was a pair of long underwear Arwen knitted for me."  
  
I thought THAT was very humorous. I never knew Men suffered from PMS. Good old Sam. We needed something to laugh about. However, now the log with eyes seems to be dressed too.  
  
P.S. My glass still hasn't lit up.  
  
Day 5:  
  
I guess I shouldn't be calling these entries 'days.' I haven't written for a day, I think, and maybe I wrote twice one day, whatever. I'm so lost. No, Sam and I are BOTH lost. This ring is getting to me. It got to Boromir. He tried to take it. So I ran away, and climbed and fell and hid and almost got away..if Sam hadn't followed. I really didn't want him to come. This journey is hopeless, everybody knows it. I'm probably going to die, or get captured, and I really don't want to lead someone else into that with me. But what else could I do, when my personal bodyguard was drowning, except pull him out? Then we were in the middle of the lake...er..river, and he absolutely INSISTED on coming, and I was too lazy to go back to the other side when we were halfway across...oh well. It's nice to have company. The only downside is if we die I'll never get to find out what's in his chest.  
  
Entry 6:  
  
I KNEW it!! I knew we were going in circles. I know he means well, but that's the last time I let Sam lead.  
  
P.S. My glass is as dull as ever.  
  
Entry 7:  
  
Guess what? We met someone today!! Out here! In the middle on Emyn Muil! Gimli called it "An impossible labyrinth of razor sharp rocks." He knew what he was talking about when he said that. Anyways, we finally have a tour guide!! This sniveling, groveling creature that calls me 'master' and seems to have an identity problem. Don't get me wrong, I know what he's talking to.but I am reluctant to mention it. We are in sight of the mountains of Mordor, now, and Gollum, or Smeagol, has promised to take us there. We had a bit of a tussle with him at first, and I finally got to use Sting!! Poor Sam. I wouldn't want to be throttled my Gollum, but Sam got him back with his elven rope. I should have killed Gollum when I had the chance, though. All his hissing and precious-ing is getting to be annoying.  
  
Entry 8:  
  
Ugh! Why can't every body leave me alone? I'm starting to see things again, and this ring is getting heavy. It doesn't SEEM any bigger, but I don't want to ask for Gollum's second opinion. We're still traveling through smelly marshes. I don't understand why there are flames on the water. The pamphlet said there would be lights, not flames. Good thing we have a tour guide.  
  
Entry 9:  
  
I fell in the marshes today. It was cold, very cold. I'm still having disturbing nightmares about all those dead ghosts *shudder*. I want a night-light! (Too bad my glass STILL hasn't lit up yet.)  
  
Entry 10:  
  
Phew! Finally through those awful marshes. We got to the Black Gates, and arrived just in time for a parade of marching monkeys!! (I KNEW I had seen them before.in the land of Oz.) Poor Sam fell down a gravelly embankment and got stuck. I, like a fool, jumped after him and almost got us both caught when some of the monkeys came over to investigate. I guess they weren't monkeys, after all. Too tall. Oh well, it was fun to pretend. Thank you, Galadriel for the elven cloak!  
  
Entry 11:  
  
New course. Unfortunately, no new food. Lembas bread...it used to taste very nice, but I am starting to tire of it. It is satisfying, but a hobbit needs REAL food once in a while. Gollum's not eating. I told him if he doesn't start eating he'll turn into a toothpick. He already is one in his mind apparently, but that's none of my concern. Sam is still carrying around his treasure chest, which means he still must have hope. That's more than I have, at least. All I want is food and rest, and to get rid of this darn ring!! Easier said than done..stupid council. It's easy for THEM to say go to Mordor, but if THEY were the ones out here under it's dark shadow, they'd send an elf-warrior, not a poor hobbit and his servant, with a 500-year-old creature for a guide.  
  
P.S. Current Galadriel Glass Status: dull and boring  
  
Entry 12:  
  
Sam is carrying around TWO chests! The newly discovered one contains salt. What does he plan to do with that, salt his lembas chips? And all his pans are driving me insane! They clatter bang bang all day long! We can't make a fire for fear of being spotted, so they are useless there, and by their noise anyone within a mile of us could hear them!! Maybe they serve as a security blanket, now that I've forbidden him to sleep next to me like he's always done.  
  
Entry 13:  
  
We're further away from the mountains, now, and looking back at my last entry, I see how sour I was. Sam has been a wonderful help, and I feel sorry for some things I've said and done. I don't know why I did them. The scenery's lovely. The fair woods of Ithilien are a wonder to behold. But nothing can compare with the Shire. Gollum doesn't seem to like it here, though. Complaining about his allergies or something. Sam gave him some Claritin, but the creature just spit it back out. So Sam crushed it up and put it in Gollum's stew, but what do you know, he wasn't hungry. He doesn't know what he was missing..  
  
P.S. Read last PS  
  
Entry 14:  
  
Men captured us today. Fancy that. From our own side, too. We were just looking at the oliphants, and they took us for the enemy! After questioning me to death, they played an over-enthusiastic game of blindman's bluff with us, and took us way out of our way. I'm sitting in the cave right now staring at a pretty waterfall awaiting sentence..good bye.  
  
Entry 15:  
  
FOOD!!! REAL FOOD!!!!! Bread and butter, salted meats, dried fruits, good, red cheese, and pale yellow wine to top it all off! And everything was CLEAN! All the dinnerware, and napkins! I've been in the wilderness too long.. Oh dear! As I've been writing this Sam and Captain Faramir have been talking of elves, and now Sam has just told him of the Ring! Ahhh we're all doomed.. I finally told him of the quest. Now I must sleep.  
  
Entry 16:  
  
Stupid Gollum. I can't make him understand I saved his life. I really didn't want Gollum to be tied and sacked, but he was, and now I know nothing good will come of my 'betrayal.' We were finally released, and have started on to Mordor. I shudder at the ominous mountains towering overhead. How long shall I survive, I wonder. This is a beautiful staff, that was given to Sam and I at our parting, but I don't think it would serve to be much good against a Ring Wraith. I am very depressed, and this ring is weighing all the more on my mind. We must start out again. Farewell.  
  
Entry 17:  
  
This may be the last entry I shall ever write. We are high in the pass of Cirith Ungol, resting before the tunnel. The last lap is before us, our doom is waiting. Who will be left to carry on our story? The world will fall. It is only a matter of time. I am weakening, I can feel it. In will and strength. I have nothing left, but Sam. Dear, dear Sam. He is more precious to me than he will ever know. If I should fail, and he survive, the burden of the world will rest on his shoulders. I loathe the thought of poor, innocent Sam carrying my load, this terrible thing. It is growing, and I am failing. I must rest now. Namaril.  
  
P.S. Sam, if you read this, I wish I could have known what was in your treasure chest.  
  
Epilogue:  
  
Oh, Master Frodo! I found this among your possessions. I am so terribly sorry, and a choice is before me. I know now how you have been suffering so. My dear master! But I must carry on. I must carry your burden along the path you alone should have tread. It has fallen to me. Yet that is why you were given companions, was it not? I laugh as I read some of this. You remembered my chest, which I had forgotten! Even I know not what it contains. You finally had the chance to use your glass, which I now bear. We didn't know how useful it would be, and yet it could not save your life, it only prolonged it more, and let you live to die in happiness. I weep as I write; yet I cannot stop. Oh master, dear Frodo, I must leave you. I must leave you alone, as you are, with naught but the rocks and stones for mourners. By the grace of Galadriel I will return to you, and be your faithful Sam one last time. Goodbye, my dear master. Rest in peace. 


End file.
